Not My Wounds

I’ve fought to “fix” myself from the woundings of abuse and trauma that I’ve survived in life. To pull out all the strands of this tapestry and keep only the truest shades as I rework the threads into a new masterpiece instead of these tattered rags.

I’ve spent countless hours processing traumatic events and unlearning the lies I had internalized about myself because of them.

And still – I am not whole.

I am not a master seamstress nor am I good at weaving. So now that I’ve unraveled myself and plucked out as many of the pieces that weren’t true about me as I could, am I to remain a mess of string without purpose? Without beauty? Unfinished? Am I a hopeless case?

I am not.

I simply have to surrender all my broken bits to the One who can take all these tiny, unmatchable pieces, weave them together, and create the beauty that I long to see within myself. All I need to do is shuffle this horrible mess of a canvas into His presence and ask Him to fix it. To trust Him as He peels off layers of improperly placed paint and dust and yuck so that the true image can be seen.

If I stop trying to fix myself, placing my hope in the Master Designer instead, I will find freedom. I will hold beauty. I will become exactly who I was always meant to be.

To sit in His presence is to be transformed.

You are not your wounds, dear heart. You were made for more. Take it to the Lord and be made new.