Oh, The Pumpkins!

I know, I know.

You’ve seen the memes, you’ve heard the stories, you’ve muddled through all the pictures of tiny humans next to pumpkins and hay bales and scarecrows…But you haven’t seen or heard from me about it yet!!

My dearly beloved husband is a big pumpkin spice latte fan. I know, I know – again!
You read that and gasped, thinking, ‘Not him! He’s so…manly!” It’s true, my wonderful husband has a weak spot for the same rich coffee drink that has the “white-girl-in-yoga-pants” stereotype attached to it. But we are all about confidently breaking stereotypes and thoroughly enjoying what we like around here!
He’s been giddy about the weather becoming cooler so he can drink them while wearing a comfortable hoodie and talking with his sweet, peppermint-mocha-drinking wife. Unfortunately, we live in a warmer climate and the cool-down is going a bit slower than in some places. But! That certainly hasn’t stopped him from enjoying the pumpkin-pie-in-a-cup. He just orders them cold!

We recently took our coffee-date on a road trip with the kiddos to a pumpkin patch, continuing a tradition that makes memories for years to come. And, naturally, there were some photos taken to document the memory-making. My phone’s camera stopped working, however, and saved y’all from a plethora of photos filled with pumpkins, latte’s, and adorable faces. (Thanks, I guess…)

One tiny human ran around the plot covered in pallets of orange gourds, put those deemed worthy onto his green wagon before rushing off to another pallet to attempt to pick up the biggest one he thought he could manage. (Yes, pallets of pumpkins on a plot of land. That’s how it’s done here, alright??)
And the tiniest human in our clan was busy knocking a little pumpkin off the shelf on which they both were sitting. Supervised, of course. Although, we were too impressed with his hand/eye coordination to worry about the other little guy getting multiple head injuries due to falls, and kept putting it back on the shelf next to Bubby…

Now that I think about it, our boys were probably trying to make some of that pumpkin pie filling for later. Hmmm.

   

   

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Butt-Pains

I knew from the beginning that Lil Man would be an awesome big brother, but I wasn’t totally prepared for how my heart would swell with love and pride as I watched him interact with his Bubby.

He’s been amazingly patient with Bubby, rarely mentioning the crying and enduring the sudden drop in attention gracefully. Lil Man always wants to read to his baby brother, hunts down pacifiers and comforts him, tells his friends to hush up so they don’t wake him. He asks if Bubby could please sleep in his bed…just in case there are monsters under the crib. (He likes to throw out logical reasons as to why we should agree to whatever it is he’s wanting. Its one of his things.)

Recently, however, Lil Man hesitantly told me, “Mommy, baby brothers are kind of a pain in the butt. And sometimes in the head…when he cries so much.” I laughed, and then told him, “You can be kind of a pain in the butt, too, and so can I!” (Maybe not the best thing to say, but it became a teachable moment!)

This prompted a discussion about how we can ALL be “butt-pains” at times, especially on our bad days. And while he was almost certain he’d never been one of those, he agreed that being hungry..or tired..or grumpy-without-reason..or hurt…can make you feel badly and it shows when you act out. Lil Man’s eyes lit up as he realized his frustration was understood and totally normal. He felt the acceptance he needed in that moment, and was able to take the lesson to heart.

We talked about how people, especially babies, don’t usually mean to be butt-pains. Sometimes it just happens in life as we react to the situations we are in or as a result of our needs going unmet. Sometimes, people act like butt-pains because they never learned a different way to handle what they’re going through. I explained that we can’t really change the person who is being a butt-pain, we can only change the way we respond to them in those moments.

This conversation was a good reminder for me to allow God’s grace to guide my response to others instead of acting out of my own hurt and pride. I realize that some butt-pains won’t ever be resolved as the unhealthy behaviors in others continue and escalate into forms of abuse and/or manipulation. But, while I don’t need to allow these things to keep repeating in my life, I can let go of the anger and allow healing to take place so that I can become a healthier version of myself and reflect God’s mercy and love instead of my own bitterness.

My sweet boys are teaching me that there is usually more to learn in every butt-pain moment than there is in the perfectly happy times, and that we should be grateful for both as we walk through our days. Lil Man really loves his Bubby.

Standing

So Much Love 

Peace and Quiet

I’ve recently decided to deactivate my Facebook account in order to calm some of the chaotic background noise that it seems to add to my life. Friends are a wonderful thing, and I’ve made many lasting connections with others through Facebook! But I can no longer stand the levels of negativity, falseness, and self-centered attitudes it fosters.

I do, however, want to maintain those connections which were uplifting and healthy. I realize that many of them are with others who live all over the world and meeting up for a chat over tea is pert-near impossible. Thus! I have created this lovely little corner in the realm of the internet and set up shop. It’s my very own tea room of sorts, where you may join me, should you so desire.

Sooo, whether you are family wishing to see photos of the boys and keep up with their latest antics, friends wanting to take a moment to browse the latest Biter news, or the merely curious who have no idea who I am and what I’m about – but suddenly want to find out more…

Welcome!! Let us begin a most wonderful journey together! May we take a time-out from the chaos, connect more deeply, and heal through relationship – regardless of the distance that seems to be between us.

Bethany

Tea

My Daddy

I wrote this poem about a month ago, and it’s been on my mind a lot. As his former dispatcher, I know my husband is well trained and ready to handle the tasks each day brings him. But as his wife and as a mother, I am less prepared to deal with the questions and emotions that sometimes come up. Regardless of what the day may hold, he continues forward. I will always be proud of the man that my husband is and the example he sets for our boys.

Jon

My Daddy

Before my daddy goes to work,

He kisses me goodbye.

I’m not old enough to know quite yet,

But my big brother will sometimes cry –

“When will he come back again?

I really want for him to play!

Will he be home for dinner, Mommy?

Or will the bad guys make him stay?”

Not even Google knows the answers

To all the questions that arise.

Mama will never say she worries,

And she considers each moment with him a prize.

But Mama’s thoughts are never far away

From the man who makes this home.

They hold Daddy close through every task,

It’s always to him that her mind roams.

There’s a darkness that I’m not yet aware of,

That daily threatens our family.

But Daddy goes out to face it down,

In the face of evil, he does not flee.

I want him to come back to us!

When he’s near, I always smile.

His voice is deep and comforting,

He holds me gently for a while.

Then Mama gets to talk with him,

He wrestles with my brother.

So quickly, he goes out once more…

…willing to lay down his life for another.

Mama tells us this is who Daddy is,

As he stands before the weak as a shield.

She says it’s because he loves us so much,

That he will forever refuse to yield.

And maybe, one day, I’ll be brave like him.

I’ll learn to seek that which is right.

Maybe, I too, will fight those things

That always ‘go bump in the night’.